I Love Being Onstage, I Love The

Comedians Dissect Jokes All The Time. Comedians Are Beautiful Structuralists. But Ultimately It's An Athletic Endeavor.

Forgot To Live-tweet The Election Last Night, So I'm Post-tweeting Today. I'll Start As Soon As My Fingers Unclench From Their Rage Fists.

We All Deserve Credit For This New Surveillance State That We Live In Because We The People Voted For The Patriot Act. Democrats And Republicans Alike....we Voted For The People Who Voted For It, And Then Voted For The People Who Reauthorized It, Then Voted For The People Who Re-re-authorize D It.

I Stand By This Man (president George W. Bush). I Stand By This Man Because He Stands For Things. Not Only For Things, He Stands On Things. Things Like Aircraft Carriers And Rubble And Recently Flooded City Squares. And That Sends A Strong Message, That No Matter What Happens To America, She Will Always Rebound.. With The Most Powerfully Staged Photo Ops In The World.

This Is America. We Must Defend The Principles Symbolized By Lady Liberty - Unless She's On The Pill, In Which Case, She Is A Giant Green Tramp.