I Look As Young As A Person

We All Look Good For Our Age. Except For Our Necks.

Plastic Surgery Is One Of The Ways That People Deal With The Aging Process. And I Don't Mean By Using It As A Form Of Denial, But As A Kind Of Negotiation With It.

Working As A Journalist Is Exactly Like Being The Wallflower At An Orgy. I Always Seem To Find Myself At A Perfectly Wonderful Event Where Everyone Else Is Having A Marvelous Time, Laughing Merrily, Eating, Drinking, Having Sex In The Back Room, And I Am Standing On The Side Taking Notes On It All.

I’m Really Not Interested In Women As Victims. Look At Me, I Get The Last Laugh ‘cause I Get To Be Funny About It.

Here Are Some Questions I Am Constantly Noodling Over: Do You Splurge Or Do You Hoard? Do You Live Every Day As If It's Your Last, Or Do You Save Your Money On The Chance You'll Live Twenty More Years? Is Life Too Short, Or Is It Going To Be Too Long? Do You Work As Hard As You Can, Or Do You Slow Down To Smell The Roses? And Where Do Carbohydrates Fit Into All This? Are We Really All Going To Spend Our Last Years Avoiding Bread, Especially Now That Bread In American Is So Unbelievable Delicious? And What About Chocolate?