I Like Sitting And Writing With My

The Only Reason I Got Into Stand-up Was Because My Brother Told Me To. I Had No Idea What I Was Going To Do With My Life. I Was 17 And My Brother Went To A Comedy Club And He Said - You Can Do That.

My Father Wasn't Perfect. He Had A Temper. I Took Some Of That. He Would Snap, But The Older He Got, He Started Calming Down. He Learned About Life, But The Thing That He Taught My Whole Family Was That Family Was The Most Important Thing And, No Matter What, If A Family Member Needs You, You Go And Help Them Out; You Get There.

Mama Says That, Happiness Is From Magic Rays Of Sunshine That Come Down When You're Feeling Blue.

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.

I Choose To Ignore Hell In My Life. When I Was A Little Kid I Asked My Dad "am I Going To Go To Hell?" Because I'd Heard About Hell. And He Said, "nothing You're Gonna Do Will Get You Into Hell." And So I Got To Ignore It.