I Learned That Getting Mad Was Easier

As Everyone Applauds And Sips Champagne, I Smile Back At Rachel, Thinking She Got It Just Right. Love And Friendship. They Are What Makes Us Who We Are And What Can Change Us, If We Let Them.

There Is Always Something Comforting About Knowing That You Are Not Alone. That Other People Feel The Way You Do. That You Are A Bit Screwed Up, But Still Normal.

Anxiety Was Not An Emotion I Could Ever Remember Feeling When I Went Out In New York, And I Wondered Why Tonight Felt So Different. Maybe It Was Because I No Longer Had A Boyfriend Or Fiance. I Suddenly Recognized That There Was Safety In Having Someone, As Well As A Lack Of Pressure To Shine. Ironically, This Had Cultivated A Certain Free-spiritedness That Had, In Turn, Allowed Me To Be The Life Of The Party And Hoard The Affection Of Additional Men....but That Had All Changed. I Didn't Have A Boyfriend, A Perfect Figure, Or Alcohol-induced Outrageousness To Fall Back On.

It Was The Same Night I Gave Myself To Him Completely, Knowing That I Would Belong To Him For As Long As He Wanted To Keep Me. And, As It Turned Out, Even Longer Than That.

The Whole "misery Loves Company" Thing Never Applies More Than When You're Breaking Up. The Thought That The Other Person Is Doing Fine Is Simply Too Much To Bear.