I Know That If I Could Really

In Madness, I Thought I Was The Most Important Person In The World.

Gradually I Began To Intellectually Reject Some Of The Delusionally Influenced Lines Of Thinking Which Had Been Characteristic Of My Orientation. This Began, Most Recognizably, With The Rejection Of Politically-oriented Thinking As Essentially A Hopeless Waste Of Intellectual Effort.

Though I Had Success In My Research Both When I Was Mad And When I Was Not, Eventually I Felt That My Work Would Be Better Respected If I Thought And Acted Like A 'normal' Person.

Statistically, It Would Seem Improbable That Any Mathematician Or Scientist, At The Age Of 66, Would Be Able Through Continued Research Efforts, To Add Much To His Or Her Previous Achievements. However I Am Still Making The Effort And It Is Conceivable That With The Gap Period Of About 25 Years Of Partially Deluded Thinking Providing A Sort Of Vacation My Situation May Be Atypical. Thus I Have Hopes Of Being Able To Achieve Something Of Value Through My Current Studies Or With Any New Ideas That Come In The Future.

I Never Saw My Grandfather Because He Had Died Before I Was Born, But I Have Good Memories Of My Grandmother And Of How She Could Play The Piano At The Old House.