I Know If I Were In Your

Sometimes All That Saves Me Is Being Willing To Make Mistakes. There Are Projects That Strike Me As So Beautiful, Important, Complicated, Or Just Plain Big, That They Convince Me Of My Own Inadequacy. This Awful State Of Reverence Leads To Paralyzing Brain Freeze. At Times Like That The Only Way Out Is For Me To Decide, 'to Hell With It. I Can't Do It Right, So I'll Do It Wrong. I Can't Do It Well, But I Can Do It Badly.' Sometimes, With Luck, While I'm Sweating To Do It Wrong, I Stumble On A Right Way.

[i] Am Reading No Ordinary Joes. Should Have Had A Medical Checkup Before I Started It. Colton Makes Us Fall In Love With These Guys, Then Puts Our Hearts In Harm's Way. It's Lovely And Ghastly And Extremely Powerful. His Best Yet.

Beside Mama, In My Own Folding Chair, With My Feet Sticking Out In Front Of Me, I Thought About My Own Innards. Just A Few Months Before I'd Had No Idea Whether My Reproductive Equipment Worked. There Was No Evidence. But That Week I Had Become A Full-fledged Bleeder And Was Still Absorbed By This First Change In Myself That I Had Ever Noticed. The Click And Buzz Of My Synapses Kept Making The Same Connection. If You Can Change, You Can Also End. Death Had Always Been A Theory To Me. Now I Knew. The Terror Hurt Good And I Nursed It And Played It Like A Loose Tooth.

Sometimes Just Looking At [my Parents] I Wanted To Bash Their Heads With A Tire Iron. Not To Kill Them, Just To Wake Them Up.

Well, It Arose Out Of Two Long-term Concerns - The First Being The Possibility Of Genetic Manipulation, Nature Versus Nurture, What Constitutes How People Get To Be How They Are.