I Initially Thought You Were Ugly, But

I Kind Of Killed It In College. You Know That Saying "big Fish In A Small Pond"? At Dartmouth College, I Was Freakin' Jaws In A Community Swimming Pool

It Makes Me Cry Because It Means That Fewer And Fewer People Are Believing It's Cool To Want What I Want, Which Is To Be Married And Have Kids And Love Each Other In A Monogamous, Long-lasting Relationship.

In Psychology (okay, Twilight) They Teach You About The Notion Of Imprinting, And I Think It Applies Here. I Reverse-imprinted With Athleticism. Ours Is The Great Non-love Story Of My Life.

As My Mom Has Said, When One Person Is Unhappy, It Usually Means Two People Are Unhappy But That One Has Not Come To Terms With It Yet.

What? I Have A Cold. Don’t Get A Look Of Terror On Your Face. The Worst That Could Happen Is That You’ll Get A Cold, Too. You Don’t Have To Theatrically Purell A Thousand Times A Day And Look All Panicky Every Time I Come Into The Room.