I Have The Distinction Of Speaking To

I Love This Country For Several Reasons, Not The Least Of Which Is That I Know I'm Allowed To Hate It If I Want To.

Joan Rivers Telling Lauren Bacall Her Dress Is All Wrong Is Like Carrot Top Telling Lenny Bruce He Needs To Get An Edge.

When The Hell Is Warren Moon Going To Retire? I Mean, This Guy Is Older Than The Cuneiform In Nebuchadnezzar's Tomb.

If Clinton Had Only Attacked Terrorism As Much As He Attacks George Bush We Wouldn't Be In This Problem.

The Second Type You Have At These Parades Seems To Be The People Who Want To Mislabel Hitler. Everybody In The World Is Hitler. Bush Is Hitler, Ashcroft Is Hitler, Rumsfeld Is Hitler. The Only Guy Who Isn't Hitler Is The Foreign Guy With A Mustache Dropping People Who Disagree With Him Into The Wood Chipper. He's Not Hitler.