I Have No Skills. I Mean, I

I Know Electric Knives Are Excellent For Carving Turkeys That Have Had Their Bones Removed And Been Forced Into A Mold To Shape Them. Please Note That Those Turkeys Are Called Hams.

Even The Worst Job Has Its Benefits And So Does Being A Professional Literary Agent, And - I Know I Said This At The Time But I Still Believe It - The Worst Job Is The One That You Know Is Wrong For You, But You Still Do It. You're Afraid To Quit.

It’s Been A Tough Couple Of Years For Condescending Nerds. And If Bookstores Fall, Jon, America Will Be Inundated With A Wandering, Snarky Underclass Of Unemployable Purveyors Of Useless And Arcane Esoterica.

Generally Speaking, I Think It Is Fair To Say That I Am A Friend To The Creatures Of The Earth When I Am Not Busy Eating Them Or Wearing Them.

I Think For The Foreseeable Future, The Truth Is Going To Be Awful And Funny All At The Same Time.