I Have My Own Dying Empire To

I Read Real Books. On Paper. You Know, Those Printed Books? I Feel Like This Is The Last Thing I Do To Support My Industry. I Think They Smell Great, Too.

I Have A Great Memory. And Actually, I Remember Russia In Some Ways Better Than I Remember Queens.

Reading Is Entering Into The Consciousness Of Another Human Being.

Satire Always Benefits When Evil And Stupidity Collide.

If My Mother Hadn't Tried To Sell Me Chicken Kiev Cutlets For $1.40 After I Graduated From College, Maybe I Would've Been The Lawyer She Wanted Me To Be.