I Have Come Up With A Sure-fire

Always Remember That If Editors Were So Damned Smart, They Would Know How To Dress.

When I Read That I Had To Go To Gettysburg.

The Method Preferred By Most Balding Men For Making Themselves Look Silly Is Called The Comb Over.

Never Lick A Steak Knife.

The Hugely Popular Windows 95 Operating System Revolutionized The Software World Thanks To Its Capability Of Accomplishing The Seemingly Impossible Task Of Making Bill Gates Even Richer Than He Already Was.