I Had To Take A Physical To

Dogs Are Forever In The Push Up Postion.

I'm Gonna Fix That Last Joke By Taking Out All The Words And Adding New Ones.

I Guess The One-liner Kind Of Comic Sounds Like A Guy Who Can Talk And Talk And Whatever The Subject Is, He Can Pull Out A One-liner, But I Couldn't Do That. I Didn't Like The Association. I Mean, I Love Steven Wright, But So Many People Started Saying "steven Wright" To Me, And I Would Get Mad, Because I Never Wanted To Be Thought Of As Copying Anybody.

I Hate Flossing, I Wish I Just Had One Long Curvy Tooth. They Didn't Have To Make Separations For Me.

I Think Pringles Initial Intention Was To Make Tennis Balls. But On The Day That The Rubber Was Supposed To Show Up, A Big Truckload Of Potatoes Arrived. But Pringles Is A Laid Back Company. They Said, "screw It. Cut 'em Up!"