I Had Always Been In Love With

When The Music Stopped, It Could Have Been Forever Since We'd Begun. My Grandfather Took A Step Back, And The Light Grew Yellow At His Back. 'i'm Going,' He Said. 'where?' I Asked. 'don't Worry, Sweetheart. You're So Close.' He Turned And Walked Away, Disappearing Rapidly Into Spots And Dust. Infinity.

I Knew Something As I Watched: Almost Everyone Was Saying Goodbye To Me. I Was Becoming One Of The Many Little-girl-losts. They Would Go Back To Their Homes And Put Me To Rest, A Letter From The Past Never To Be Reopened Or Reread. And I Could Say Goodbye To Them, Wish Them Well, Bless Them Somehow For Their Good Thoughts. A Handshake In The Street, A Dropped Item Picked Up And Retrieved And Handed Back, Or A Friendly Wave From The Distant Window, A Nod, A Smile, A Moment When The Eyes Lock Over The Antics Of A Child.

Out Loud I Said I Had Two Children. Silently I Said Three. I Always Felt Like Apologizing To Her For That.

The Alcohol Had The Effect Of Making The Black Cloth Blacker. This Amused Her; She Had Noted In Her Journal: "booze Affects Material As It Does People.

"when The Dead Are Done With The Living, The Living Can Go On To Other Things," Franny Said. "what About The Dead?" I Asked. "where Do We Go?"