I Had A Swell Racket. I Was

I Helped Make Mexico, Especially Tampico, Safe For American Oil Interests In 1914. I Helped Make Haiti And Cuba A Decent Place For The National City Bank Boys To Collect Revenues In.

I Spent Thirty-three Years And Four Months In Active Military Service As A Member Of This Country's Most Agile Military Force, The Marine Corps. I Served In All Commissioned Ranks From Second Lieutenant To Major-general.

No One Told These American Soldiers They Might Be Shot Down By Bullets Made By Their Own Brothers Here. No One Told Them That The Ships On Which They Were Going To Cross Might Be Torpedoed By Submarines Built With Us Patents.

The Normal Profits Of A Business Concern In The United States Are Six, Eight, Ten, And Sometimes Twelve Percent. But War-time Profits - Ah! That Is Another Matter - Twenty, Sixty, One Hundred, Three Hundred, And Even Eighteen Hundred Per Cent - The Sky Is The Limit.

I Selected An Enormous Marine Corps Emblem To Be Tattooed Across My Chest. It Required Several Sittings And Hurt Me Like The Devil, But The Finished Product Was Worth The Pain. I Blazed Triumphantly Forth, A Marine From Throat To Waist. The Emblem Is Still With Me. Nothing On Earth But Skinning Will Remove It.