I Guess You Heard, Hillary Clinton Has

Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge Raised Security Alert To A Code Red. Apparently Howard Dean Has Escaped. Did You See Dean's Crazed Speech The Other Night, Yelling? I See Why His Wife Won't Campaign With Him. In Fact, Dean Has A New Slogan: 'aaghhhh.'

How About This John Edwards Thing? Imagine That, A Personal Injury Attorney Who Turns Out To Be A Sleaze Ball. Who Could Have Seen That Coming?

Of Course With John Mccain Out Of The Race, George W. Bush Has To Pick A Running Mate. Which Is Kind Of A Scary Proposition When You Think About It. I Mean His Dad Picked Dan Quayle, An He Isn't As Smart As His Dad.

I Understand The Chairman Of The Senate Ethics Comittee Is Going To Examine The Check-bouncing Scandal With A Microscope. ...makes Sense... If You're Going To Look At Ethics In Congress, A Microscope Is What You Need.

Soup Is Just A Way Of Screwing You Out Of A Meal.