I Guess You Heard, Hillary Clinton Has

In Huntington Beach, California, Three Police Instructors Lost Their Jobs After Ordering Two Cadets Who Were Caught Smoking To Eat Cigarette Sandwiches As Punishment. And Of Course The Tobacco Companies Are Thinking, 'cigarette Sandwiches - What A Great Idea.'

John Kerry Went Hunting Today. He Said He Killed A Goose. He Didn't Bring Teresa Along Because He Was A Little Rusty And He Was Afraid He Might Kill The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg.

Isn't This Amazing? Clinton Is Getting $8m For His Memoir, Hillary Got $8m For Her Memoir. That Is $16m For Two People Who For Eight Years Couldn't Remember Anything.

According To A New Poll, 50 Percent Of Americans Think The Country Is Divided. The Other 50 Percent Think It Isn't.

Scientists In Australia Are Working On Making Biodegradable Car Parts Out Of Hemp. This Might Get Confusing. When Someone Says, Roll Up The Window, They Might Mean, Roll Up The Window!