I Guess 14% Plus Jesus Equals Victory

Like O'rielly, We'll Grab The Most Important Word Of Each Sentence... 'the' For Example. Also, I'll Say, 'i'm Angry,' And The Graphic Will Read, 'colbert Angry.

If It's Called The Usa Today, Why Is All The News From Yesterday?

Vodka Eyeballing Sounds Great, But It's A Slippery Slope. Next, You'll Be Scotch Nostriling, Tequila Nippling And, Before You Know It, Jager Tainting.

If I Had One Wish, It Would Be For Self-drying Pants. Wait -- No! Unlimited Wishes! How Do I Return These Stupid Pants?!

We Have This Idea In Our Mind That There's A Separation Of Church And State In America, Which I Think Is A Good Thing. And We Extend That To Our Politics. Like It's Not Just Church And State, But It's Also There's A Separation Of Religion And Politics. But Of Course, There - There Isn't.