I Felt Highly Anxious In A Way

I Know That When I Am Dying, Looking Back, It Will Be Women That I Regret Having Argued With, Women I Sought To Impress, To Understand, Was Tortured By. Women I Wish To See Again, To See Them Smile And Laugh And Say, It Was All As It Should Have Been.

I Have Never Been A Physically Engaged Person. Like, I Was Not An Athletic Kid. I Was The Kid Who Came Up With A Thousand Excuses Not To Take A Gym Class. Even Now, If I Could, I Would Do All My Work From Bed.

You Have To Move So You Don't Die. You Have To Move So Your Brain Doesn't Atrophy. You Have To Move So That You Look A Little Bit Like A Person That You Might Want To Be. There Are A Thousand Reasons Why Exercise Is Important, And I've Had To Find Ways To Make It Sexy For Myself.

For Me, My Life Goal Is To Be In A Position Where I Can Wear Pajamas 24 Hours A Day. That's What Makes Me Happy.

I Remember It Made Me Feel Better Because So Many Of My Friends At School. Were Doing That Stuff And Doing That Stuff On Sleep Overs. But I Just Didn't Feel Ready. It Wasn't Like I Had Any Judgment Of It Being Two Women. It Would Have Scared Me As Much If Not More. I Was Like A Three Month Period In Which All The Words Sleep Over Was Code For Was "let's Get Together And Touch Each Other's Vaginas." And I Was. Haunted. And I Remember Going Home And Feeling Like I Couldn't Tell My Mother Even Though She Would've Understood And Probably Laughed.