I Don't Share My Body Heat Indiscriminately.

Sooner Or Later Everyone Was Driven To Love Someone They Could Never Have.

Dear Miss Independent, I've Decided That Of All The Women I've Ever Known, You Are The Only One I Will Ever Love More Than Hunting, Fishing, Football, And Power Tools. You May Not Know This, But The Other Time I Asked You To Marry Me, The Night I Put The Crib Together, I Meant It. Even Though I Knew You Weren't Ready. God, I Hope You're Ready Now. Marry Me, Ella. Because No Matter Where You Go Or What You Do, I'll Love You Every Day For The Rest Of My Life. —jack

Weddings Are Never About The Bride And Groom, Weddings Are Public Platforms For Dysfunctional Families.

You Can Never Be Truly Happy In A Life Unless You Have Known A Sorrow. All Terrible Things We Have Gone Through In Life Have Created Spaces Inside Us Where Happiness Can Live Not To Mention Love.

Recently Mr. Mawdsley’s Donkey Escaped From His Stall, Raced Down The Road, And Somehow Found His Way Into An Enclosed Pasture. Mr. Caird’s Prized Mare Was Innocently Grazing When The Ill-bred Seducer Had His Way With Her. Now It Appears The Mare Has Conceived, And A Feud Is Raging Between Caird, Who Demands Financial Compensation, And Mawdsley, Who Insists That Had The Pasture Fencing Been In Better Repair, The Clandestine Meeting Would Never Have Occurred. Worse Still, It Has Been Suggested That The Mare Is A Shameless Lightskirt And Did Not Try Nearly Hard Enough To Preserve Her Virtue.