I Don't Know Who I Touch And

I Was Raised By A Mother Who Told Me I Was Great Every Day Of My Life.

I Finished A Big Book The Other Day. 421 Pages. That's A Lot Of Coloring When You Think About It.

My Name Is Adam Sandler. I'm Not Particularly Talented. I'm Not Particularly Good-looking. And Yet I'm A Multi-millionaire.

In High School I Wanted To Be A Rock Star And Was In A Lot Of Bands.

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.