I Care Passionately About Equal Rights [and]

I Had No Intention Of Becoming A Comedian. I Just Wanted To Make People Happy. I Tried Everything-i Shucked Oysters, I Painted Houses, I Sold Vacuum Cleaners. But There Was Always A Voice Saying, You Should Be Doing Something Different. And It Was Usually My Boss And I Was Being Fired.

Human Beings Only Use Ten Percent Of Their Brains. Ten Percent! Can You Imagine How Much We Could Accomplish If We Used The Other Sixty Percent?

I'm Just Saying We Can All Work On Our Manners. We Can Say Please And Thank You. We Can Be Punctual. We Can Just Be Nicer To One Another. It's Something We Have In Our Power To Do. It Reminds Me Of That Margaret Mead Quote: "never Doubt That A Small Group Of Thoughtful, Committed Citizens Can Change The World. Indeed, It's The Only Thing That Ever Has.

The Legend Goes That St. Patrick Drove The Snakes Out Of Ireland. I Was Thinking... That Must Be Hard To Put All The Tiny Seatbelts On All The Snakes.

I Cannot Believe They Haven't Yet Come Up With A Better Screening Process Than The Mammogram. If A Man Had To Put His Special Parts Inside A Clamp To Test Him For Anything, I Think They Would Come Up With A New Plan Before The Doctor Finished Saying, "put That Thing There So I Can Crush It.