I Can't Have Cats Around Me Because

I Quit Smoking. I Feel Better. I Smell Better. And It's Safer To Drink Out Of Old Beer Cans Laying Around The House.

My Husband And I Didn't Sign A Pre-nuptial Agreement. We Signed A Mutual Suicide Pact.

Being Hated And Hunted And Blamed For Your Own Suffering Makes People Kind Of Testy, Nervous, And On Edge, And Often Fundamentalist And Extreme. Bombs Get Thrown Only When People Cannot Honestly Talk Together.

As A Housewife, I Feel That If The Kids Are Still Alive When My Husband Gets Home From Work, Then Hey, I've Done My Job.

My Children Love Me. I'm Like The Mother They Never Had.