I Am Writing My Life To Laugh

I Have Had Friends Who Have Acted Kindly Towards Me, And It Has Been My Good Fortune To Have It In My Power To Give Them Substantial Proofs Of My Gratitude.

I Have Felt In My Very Blood, Ever Since I Was Born, A Most Unconquerable Hatred Towards The Whole Tribe Of Fools, And It Arises From The Fact That I Feel Myself A Blockhead Whenever I Am In Their Company.

If You Want To Make People Laugh, Your Face Must Remain Serious.

You Will Be Amused When You See That I Have More Than Once Deceived Without The Slightest Qualm Of Conscience, Both Knaves And Fools.

The Mind Of A Human Being Is Formed Only Of Comparisons Made In Order To Examine Analogies, And Therefore Cannot Precede The Existence Of Memory.