I Am Reminded Of The Importance Of

The Ancient Dialogue Between Reason And The Senses Is Almost Always More Interestingly And Passionately Resolved In Favor Of The Senses.

Manic-depression Distorts Moods And Thoughts, Incites Dreadful Behaviors, Destroys The Basis Of Rational Thought, And Too Often Erodes The Desire And Will To Live. It Is An Illness That Is Biological In Its Origins, Yet One That Feels Psychological In The Experience Of It, An Illness That Is Unique In Conferring Advantage And Pleasure, Yet One That Brings In Its Wake Almost Unendurable Suffering And, Not Infrequently, Suicide.

I Had Been Simply Treating Water, Settling On Surviving And Avoiding Pain Rather Than Being Actively Involved In Seeking Out Life.

The Intensity, Glory, And Absolute Assuredness If My Mind's Flight Made It Very Difficult For Me To Believe Once I Was Better, That The Illness Was One I Should Willingly Give Up....moods Are Such An Essential Part Of The Substance Of Life, Of One's Notion Of Oneself, That Even Psychotic Extremes In Mood And Behavior Somehow Can Be Seen As Temporary, Even Understandable Reactions To What Life Has Dealt....even Though The Depressions That Inevitably Followed Nearly Cost Me My Life.

I Have Often Asked Myself Whether, Given The Choice, I Would Choose To Have Manic-depressive Illness. If Lithium Were Not Available To Me, Or Didn't Work For Me, The Answer Would Be A Simple No... And It Would Be An Answer Laced With Terror. But Lithium Does Work For Me, And Therefore I Can Afford To Pose The Question. Strangely Enough, I Think I Would Choose To Have It. It's Complicated.