I Am; I Was. I Want To

And He Paddled Away In His Douche Canoe.

I Guess Satan Was The First Superhero [...] In His First Adventure, He Took The Form Of A Snake To Free Two Prisoners Being Held Naked In A Third World Jungle Prison By An All-powerful Megalomaniac. At The Same Time, He Broadened Their Diet And Introduced Them To Their Own Sexuality.

Aren't You Going To Tell Me I'm Not So Bad? She Asked. Mmm-no. I Was Thinking How Every Man Loves A Hot Girl With A History Of Making Mistakes. Because It's Always Possible She'll Make One With You.

A Pamphlet, No Matter How Good, Is Never Read More Than Once, But A Song Is Learned By Heart And Repeated Over And Over. And I Maintain That If A Person Can Put A Few Common Sense Facts Into A Song And Dress Them Up In A Cloak Of Humor, He Will Succeed In Reaching A Great Number Of Workers Who Are Too Unintelligent Or Too Indifferent To Read.

She Liked Things That Had Been Written By People Who Had Lived Short, Ugly, And Tragic Lives. Or, Who At Least, Were English.