I Am Certainly Not An Authority On

I Don't Know The Key To Success, But The Key To Failure Is Trying To Please Everybody.

My Latest Blood Test Said My Cholesterol Was Very High And My Doctor Recommended Some Medicine For It. I Said "no" To His Recommendation And He Said "what Are You Going To Do?" I Said I Ate My Way Into This And I'm Going To Eat My Way Out Of It.

Guys Standing Around And Talking About Spanish Fly: 'you Know Anything About Spanish Fly?' 'no, Tell Me About It.' Well There's This Girl Crazy Mary, You Put Some In Her Drink Man, She, 'haaaaaaaaaaaaah.' Oh Yeah, That's Really Groovy Man, Spanish Fly Is Groovy, Yeah. From Then On, Any Time You See A Girl: 'wish I Had Some Spanish Fly.' Go To A Party See Five Girls Standing Alone: 'boy If I Had A Whole Jug Of Spanish Fly, I'd Light That Corner Up Over There. Haaaaaah.'

A Father... Knows Exactly What Those Boys At The Mall Have In Their Depraved Little Minds Because He Once Owned Such A Depraved Little Mind Himself. In Fact, If He Thinks Enough About The Plans That He Used To Have For Young Girls, The Father Not Only Will Support His Wife In Keeping Their Daughter Home But He Might Even Run Over To The Mall And Have A Few Of Those Boys Arrested.

Having A Child Is Surely The Most Beautifully Irrational Act That Two People In Love Can Commit.