I Am Certainly Not An Authority On

Why Do I Have To Feed The Kids? They Just Ate Twelve Hours Ago!

If The New American Father Feels Bewildered And Even Defeated, Let Him Take Comfort From The Fact That Whatever He Does In Any Fathering Situation Has A Fifty Percent Chance Of Being Right.

The Childless Experts On Child Raising Also Bring Tears Of Laughter To My Eyes When They Say, I Love Children Because They're So Honest. There Is Not An Agent In The Cia Or The Kgb Who Knows How To Conceal The Theft Of Food, How To Fake Being Asleep, Or How To Forge A Parent's Signature Like A Child.

The Beautiful Thing About Older People Is Their Ability To Cut The Fat Off Of Conversation. When They Talk, They Don't Go On Forever And Ever. They Say What They Have To Say, And That's It. That Was My Grand Dad. Some Of The Things He Said Stunned Me, But His Words Were Logical. I'll Never Forget Them.

It Is A Point Of Pride For The American Male To Keep The Same Size Jockey Shorts For His Entire Life.