I Am Brave, Though I Am Alone.

Can Officially Confirm That The Way To A Man's Heart These Days Is Not Through Beauty, Food, Sex, Or Alluringness Of Character, But Merely The Ability To Seem Not Very Interested In Him.

I Realize It Has Become Too Easy To Find A Diet To Fit In With Whatever You Happen To Feel Like Eating And That Diets Are Not There To Be Picked And Mixed But Picked And Stuck To, Which Is Exactly What I Shall Begin To Do Once I've Eaten This Chocolate Croissant.

I Like You Very Much. Just As You Are.

But If You Are Single The Last Thing You Want Is Your Best Friend Forming A Functional Relationship With Somebody Else.

I Hate Christmas. Everything Is Designed For Families, Romance, Warmth, Emotion And Presents, And If You Have No Boyfriend, No Money, Your Mother Is Going Out With A Missing Portuguese Criminal And Your Friends Don't Want To Be Your Friend Anymore, It Makes You Want To Emigrate To A Vicious Muslim Regime, Where At Least All The Women Are Treated Like Social Outcasts. Anyway, I Don't Care. I Am Going To Quietly Read A Book All Weekend And Listen To Classical Music.