I Always Was A Writer, But Then

There Isn't A Problem On This Earth That A Doughnut Cannot Make Better.

I'm A Heterosexual. I Don't Know Why I'm Like This. I Was Just Born This Way.

I Survived My Childhood By Birthing Many Separate Identities To Stand In For One Another In Times Of Great Stress And Fear.

They've Said 'roseanne's Nuts' For Years, And Now I'm Going To Make That A Reality - I'm All About Nuts Now, Macadamia Nuts!

When I Used To Watch Comedians With My Dad, He Laid It All Out For Me. He Wanted To Be A Comedian Himself, And He Was So Funny. We'd Watch Stand-up On Tv, And He'd Tell Me The Subtext Of What They Were Saying.