I Always Wanted To Live In A

If (o.j. Simpson) Is Acquitted, I Will Renounce My Citizenship. And If I Converse With Him At A Cocktail Party, I Will Say, 'well, There Are So Many People Here Who Haven't Murdered Anyone. I Think I'll Go Talk To Them.' I'll Also Riot.

I'm Sure I've All But Lost Friends By Maintaining That, Despite Their Love For It, I Always Saw Stanley Kramer's 'it's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World' As More Of An Exercise In Anti-comedy Than Humor.

The Very Phrase 'oscar Night' Used To Accelerate My Pulse. For One Thing - Dating Myself - It Meant Bob Hope. He Always Had Good, Strong Jokes, That Faultless Delivery, And Always A New Joke About His Own Films' Failure - Once Again - To Be Honored.

I Did Standup While Still Working For Johnny Carson In The Mid-'60s, Thus Gaining The Advantage Of At Least Getting Laughs From Him About How I Hadn't The Night Before.

It Takes A Certain Amount Of Guts To Go To Your Class Reunions.