I Actually Had A Chance To Be

When I Was A Kid, My Parents Had A 900-pound Television On Top Of A Tv Tray. My Dad's Theory Was, 'let Him Pull It Over His Head A Few Times, He'll Learn.'

I Refuse To This Day To Do E-mail Because Everybody I Know That Does It, It Takes Another Two Or Three Hours A Day. I Don't Want To Give Two Or Three More Hours Away.

A Lot Of People Up North, They Think Everybody From The South Is Married To Their Sister And Has Seen A Ufo. I Told Them, 'i'm Just Dating My Sister And Couldn't Swear That It Wasn't A Weather Balloon.'

You Might Be A Redneck If You Think That The Styrofoam Cooler Is The Greatest Invention Of All Time.

If You Think Fast Food Is Hittin A Deer Att 65 Miles Per Hr.. You Might Be A Redneck