How To Fail: Try Too Hard.

If You Don't Know What To Do With Many Of The Papers Piled On Your Desk, Stick A Dozen Colleagues Initials On Them And Pass Them Along. When In Doubt, Route.

Generous Gestures Yield The Most When That Isn't Their Purpose.

The Ultimate In Futility Is Owning Important Jewelry. Insurers Often Insist On The Wearing Of Paste Replicas Because Necks With Real Rocks Around 'em Risk Wringing.

There's One Post-christmas Chore I Love-writing Thank-you Letters.... Lots Of Companies For Many Reasonable Reasons, I Guess, Have A Policy Against Sending Even Christmas Cards, Never Mind Things, At Christmastime. But Our Clan Gets A Big Kick Out Of Opening The Warner-lambert Box Containing An Assortment Of Their Wares; We Argue Over Which Of The Boys Is To Get The Union Oil Co. Necktie [and] All The Holiday Long We Play The Marvelous Christmas Music Sent By Goodyear.... None Of These Things Means That Forbes Or Forbeses Have Been Had. But All Of Us Like Being Thought Of.

If You Never Budge, Don't Expect A Push.