Hey, A Disclaimer About Me: I’m Rude.

They Talk About How Men Are Chasers, But Women Are Just Like That Too. At Least A Lot Of The Women That I Know, Who Tend To Be Ambitious, Professionally Driven Women, They Love That. Like Seeking Something Professional That Is Hard To Get, I Think They Feel The Same Way About Men.

If You Are Going To Ask Your Crush For Their Phone Number, You Are One Of The Small Group Of Women I Am So Jealous Of.

I Have A Whole System Down For Returning Online Shopping: A Tape Gun, A Printer For Return Labels. That Has Replaced Traditional Window Shopping In My Life, As I've Gotten Busier.

If I’m At A Party Where I’m Not Enjoying Myself, I Will Put Some Cookies In My Jacket Pocket And Leave Without Saying Good-bye.

What? I Have A Cold. Don’t Get A Look Of Terror On Your Face. The Worst That Could Happen Is That You’ll Get A Cold, Too. You Don’t Have To Theatrically Purell A Thousand Times A Day And Look All Panicky Every Time I Come Into The Room.