Heaven Hears And Pities Hapless Men Like

If You Are One Of Earth’s Inhabitants, How Blest Your Father, And Your Gentle Mother, Blest All Your Kin. I Know What Happiness Must Send The Warm Tears To Their Eyes, Each Time They See Their Wondrous Child Go To The Dancing! But One Man’s Destiny Is More Than Blest—he Who Prevails, And Takes You As His Bride. Never Have I Laid Eyes On Equal Beauty In Man Or Woman. I Am Hushed Indeed.

Look, I'm Not Asking You To Like Me, I'm Not Asking You To Put Yourself In A Position Where I Can Touch Your Goodies, I'm Just Asking You To Be Fair.

Remember That Postcard Grandpa Sent Us From Florida Of That Alligator Biting That Woman's Bottom? That's Right, We All Thought It Was Hilarious. But, It Turns Out We Were Wrong. That Alligator Was Sexually Harassing That Woman.

No Trust Is To Be Placed In Women.

When A Woman Says Nothing's Wrong, That Means Everything's Wrong. And When A Woman Says Everything's Wrong, That Means Everything's Wrong! And When A Woman Says Something's Not Funny, You'd Better Not Laugh Your Ass Off!