He Who Laughs Most, Learns Best.

It's Not The Despair, Laura. I Can Take The Despair. It's The Hope I Can't Stand.

I Think The Problem With People Like This Is That They Are So Stupid That They Have No Idea How Stupid They Are.

I Started To Make Harder Jokes Before Anyone Else Did. And The Producers Would Get Anxious. They'd Say, 'that's A Little Bit Hard-edged, Isn't It?' And I'd Say, 'let's Just Try It And See How The Audience Reacts. If They Don't Like It, Let's Cut It Out.' And The Audience Roared With Laughter, So I Learned You Could Do This Harder Humor And People Loved It.

The Americans All Love 'the Holy Grail', And The English All Love 'life Of Brian', And I'm Afraid On This One, I Side With The English.

If I Like Chocolate It Won't Surprise You That I Have A Few Chocolates In My Fridge, But If You Find Out I've Got 16 Warehouses Full Of Chocolate, You'd Think I Was Insane. All These Rich Guys Are Insane, Obsessive Compulsive Twits Obsessed With Money - Money Is All They Think About - They're All Nuts.