Harris Said, However, That The River Would

There Are The Goods; If You Want Them, You Can Have Them. If You Do Not Want Them, They Would Almost Rather That You Did Not Come And Talk About Them.

I Did Not Intend To Write A Funny Book, At First. I Did Not Know I Was A Humorist. I Have Never Been Sure About It. In The Middle Ages, I Should Probably Have Gone About Preaching And Got Myself Burnt Or Hanged.

There May Be A Better Land Where Bicycle Saddles Are Made Of Rainbow, Stuffed With Cloud; In This World The Simplest Thing Is To Get Used To Something Hard.

I Love The Chill October Days, When The Brown Leaves Lie Thick And Sodden Underneath Your Feet.

It Is Very Strange, This Domination Of Our Intellect By Our Digestive Organs. We Cannot Work, We Cannot Think, Unless Our Stomach Wills So. It Dictates To Us Our Emotions, Our Passions.... We Are But The Veriest, Sorriest Slaves Of Our Stomach. Reach Not After Morality And Righteousness, My Friends; Watch Vigilantly Your Stomach, And Diet It With Care And Judgment. Then Virtue And Contentment Will Come And Reign Within Your Heart, Unsought By Any Effort Of Your Own; And You Will Be A Good Citizen, A Loving Husband, And A Tender Father—a Noble, Pious Man.