God Bless The Homicidal Maniacs. They Make

There Are Only Two Types Of Motorists: The Idiots Who Drive Slower Than Me, And The Lunatics Who Go Faster.

I Don't Know How You Feel, But I'm Pretty Sick Of Church People. You Know What They Ought To Do With Churches? Tax Them. If Holy People Are So Interested In Politics, Government, And Public Policy, Let Them Pay The Price Of Admission Like Everybody Else. The Catholic Church Alone Could Wipe Out The National Debt If All You Did Was Tax Their Real Estate.

O. J. Simpson Has Already Received The Ultimate Punishment: For The Rest Of His Life He Has To Associate With Golfers.

I Credit That Eight Years Of Grammar School With Nourishing Me In A Direction Where I Could Trust Myself And Trust My Instincts. They Gave Me The Tools To Reject My Faith. They Taught Me To Question And Think For Myself And To Believe In My Instincts To Such An Extent That I Just Said, "this Is A Wonderful Fairy Tale They Have Going Here, But It's Not For Me."

I Remember When I Was A Kid I Used To Come Home From Sunday School And My Mother Would Get Drunk And Try To Make Pancakes