Friends Should Always Tell You The Truth.

I Don't Have A Room Full Of Writers Pitching Ideas. It's Just Me Out Of My Head.

What We've Done With Our Modern Food Supply Is Absolute Insanity. It's Not Even Real Any More. You Used To Be Able To Give A Kid An Apple And They Would Love It. Kids Can't Even Taste Apples Any More. Apples Taste Like Paper To Kids Now.

I Do Have Very Deep, Fond Memories Of My Family In Mexico City, But I Also Remember Feeling Funny For Not Speaking English - I Was Basically An Immigrant. But I Picked Up The Language Fast And Soon I Knew That I Wanted To Be A Writer.

Well, When I Was Younger, I Lied All The Time, Because Once You Understand The Power Of Lying, It's Really Like Magic Because You Transform Reality For People.

A Lot Of Stand-up Specials For Cable Are Meant To Glorify The Comedian. They Put You In A Really Beautiful Theater, And Sometimes They Even Blow A Little Smoke In There To Make It Misty And Sweet. They Make The Guy Look Like He's A Big Rock Star. But Comedy's Not Really Glamorous. It Doesn't Enhance Comedy For It To Look Good.