Everything's Amazing Right Now, And Nobody's Happy.

I've Had Two Great Years, Probably Five Good Years. So I Had 20 Years Of Just Kind Of Uncertainty And Suffering And Ego Destruction And Poverty. All These Things. There's No Way I'm Ever Going To Catch Up To The Misery Years. It's Impossible... If I Don't Do Anything Dumb Or I Don't Get A Disease Or Something, And Then I've Got To Five To Eight Years I Think Where It'll Really Be Great And Then It Will Start To Degenerate Like Uranium, You Know?

Technically, I've Learned That Having Good Legs And Wind Is Good For Being On Stage. You Have To Be In Shape And Have Endurance.

I Love Stand-up More Than Anything, And I'm So Happy To Have Found A Way To Use It In The Show.

I Can't Just Sit On My Daughter's Bed And Just Say 'n---' All Night And Then Put Her To Sleep. I Just Ain't Gonna Do That... I Told The Girls That These Boys Are Racists, And They're Not Nice Boys. But I Think We Can Still Enjoy The Stories About The Fishin' And The Tradin'.

You Have To Be Really Tenacious. You Have To Keep At It. There Are Many Roads To Get There. If You Can Get Yourself Into Harvard, That's A Good Way To Go, Because Every Harvard Graduating Class, The Agencies Come Trolling Around And They'll Look For You. So If You Go To Harvard, You'll Get Found There.