Everyday Is A Compromise.

John Mccain Turned 72 Years Old Last Friday, But The Chinese Are Making Him A Birth Certificate That Says He's Only 33 And Then He'll Be Ready To Go.

Donald Trump Has A Great Campaign Slogan: 'a Complex World Demands Complex Hair.'

Sunday Is The Academy Awards. Every Time An Actor Says, 'i Didn't Expect This,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg Will Do A Shot.

Mitt Romney, Two-time Republican Presidential Candidate, Is Going To Fight Evander Holyfield For Charity. I Hope They Save Some Of That Money For Funeral Expenses.

Airport Screeners Are Now Scanning Holiday Fruitcakes. Not Even The Scanners Can Tell What Those Little Red Things Are.