Everybody Kind Of Gets To Be The

Feminists Do The Best Photoshop Because They Leave The Meat On Your Bones. They Don’t Change Your Size Or Your Skin Color. They Leave In Your Disgusting Knuckles, But They May Take Out Some Armpit Stubble. Not Because They’re Denying Its Existence, But Because They Understand That It’s Okay To Make A Photo Look As If You Were Caught On Your Best Day In The Best Light.

Now Every Girl Is Expected To Have: Caucasian Blue Eyes, Full Spanish Lips, A Classic Button Nose, Hairless Asian Skin With A California Tan, A Jamaican Dance Hall Ass, Long Swedish Legs, Small Japanese Feet, The Abs Of A Lesbian Gym Owner, The Hips Of A Nine-year-old Boy, The Arms Of Michelle Obama, And Doll Tits. The Person Closest To Actually Achieving This Look Is Kim Kardashian, Who, As We Know, Was Made By Russian Scientists To Sabotage Our Athletes.

Whatever The Problem - Be Part Of The Solution

In My Limited Experience, Shows Are Like Children. You Can Teach Them Manners And Dress Them In Little Sailor Suits, But In The End, They're Going To Be Who They're Going To Be.

Once Or Twice A Week I Would Set My Alarm For Six A.m. So I Could Get Up And Plug In Hot Stix...i Would Study The Curls In The Mirror, Impressed With Both The Appliance And My Newfound Ability To Use It. Then, Without Fail, At The Last Second Before Leaving For School, I Would Ask Myself, "am I Supposed To Brush It Out Or Leave It?" Why Could I Never Remember" That Feeling Of "i'm Pretty Sure This Next Step Is Wrong, But I'm Just Gonna Do It Anyway" Is Part Of The Same Set Of Instincts That Makes Me Such A Great Cook.