Every Day, I Live A Lie But

Where's My Syllabus To Guide Me Through Life?

It's Human Nay-cha...for Me To Sperminay-cha.

The Great Thing About Fiction Is That You Can Start Off By Telling The Truth, Then Start Making Stuff Up Like Crazy Whenever You Feel Like It.

Then Again Maybe There's Something That I've Been Doing In The Privacy Of My Own Bedroom My Whole Life That I Think Is Perfectly Normal But Is Actually Illegal In Thirty-two States.

I'm Sitting In The Bleachers, Watching Longingly As All The Boys And Umbumped Girls In My Personal Health And Fitness Class Play Muggle Quidditch. I Don't Even Like The Game Very Much, I Think It's Silly, But I So Miss Physical Activity That I'd Be Thrilled If I Could Run Around The Gymnasium With A Broom Between My Legs, Chasing After The Human Snitch Wearing A Gold Pinny.