Ever Eat So Much You Feel Sick?

Wouldn't It Have Been Weird To Go To High School With The Pope? You Know, Somebody Did, Someone's Sitting At Home, Watching Tv In Poland, They See The Pope, They Think, "that Guy Was A Jerk! He Was So Mean To Me And Now He's Pope? I Got A Swirly From The Pope!"

I Worked On Usa Today As A Topic For While. I Tried To Do Something On Hand Chairs, Chairs That Look Like Hands. I Really Tried. But Some Topics Are Not Truly Universal.

It's Like In Most Parts Of America, Where There Was Industry And There Is No Longer; There Is Cynicism Mixed With Sarcasm And Some Optimism. That's How My Background Influenced My Comedy.

In Indiana, I Wasn't Anything Special. But In New York, I've Gone Out With Girls With Purple Hair Who Go Out With Me Because I'm Exotic!

Whenever You Go Out To Eat You Gotta Get The Appetizer. 'cause The Appetizer's Just An Excuse For An Extra Meal. You're Always Like "lets See, I Will Start With The 80 Buffalo Wings...and Do You Have A Low-cal Blue Cheese? 'cause I Don't Wanna Fill Up Too Much."