Even Intellectuals Should Have Learned By Now

I Studied French In High School And German In College And I Once Took A 24-hour Italian Crash Course. English Has By Far The Most Words In It Of Any Other Language. Our Money Might Not Be Worth Anything Anymore, But The Language Is.

Contemporary American Children, If They Are Old Enough To Grasp The Concept Of Santa Claus By Thanksgiving, Are Able To See Through It By December 15th.

I Prefer My Oysters Fried; That Way I Know My Oysters Died.

I Do Some Eccentric Dancing.

A Dog Will Make Eye Contact. A Cat Will, Too, But A Cat's Eyes Don't Even Look Entirely Warm-blooded To Me, Whereas A Dog's Eyes Look Human Except Less Guarded. A Dog Will Look At You As If To Say, "what Do You Want Me To Do For You? I'll Do Anything For You." Whether A Dog Can In Fact, Do Anything For You If You Don't Have Sheep (i Never Have) Is Another Matter. The Dog Is Willing.