Escape From The Realm Of The Dead

This Was Very Exciting. I'd Never Had Two Boys Get Into A Fight Over Me Before. The Fact That One Of The Boys Was My Stepbrother, However, And Held About As Much Romantic Appeal For Me As Max, The Family Dog, Somewhat Dampened My Enthusiasm. And Michael Wasn't Much Of A Catch, Either, When You Actually Thought About It, Being A Potential Murderer And All. Oh, Why Did I Have To Have Such A Couple Of Losers Fighting Over Me? Why Couldn't Matt Damon And Ben Affleck Fight Over Me? Now That Would Be Truly Excellent.

I Usually Know Almost Exactly How I Feel. The Problem Is, I Just Can't Tell Anyone.

Dear Mia, What Can I Say? I Don't Know All That Much About Romance Novels, But I Think You Must Be The Stephen King Of The Genre. Your Book Is Hot. Thanks For Letting Me Read It. Anyone Who Doesn't Want To Publish It Is A Fool. Anyway, Since I Know It's Your Birthday, And I Also Know You Never Remember To Back Anything Up, Here's A Little Something I Made For You. It Would Be A Shame If Ransom My Heart Got Lost Before It Ever Saw The Light Of Day Because Your Hard Drive Crashed. See You Tonight. Love, Michael

It Was Only When They'd Rounded The Corner Toward The Penguin That We Finally Sat Up, Laughing Semi-hysterically. "oh My God, Did You See Her Face?" Becca Asked Between Guffaws. "'there's Something In My Hair!'" "that Was Fantastic, Crazytop," Jason Said, Wiping Tears Of Laughter From His Eyes. "best Master Plan Yet.

Also, I Think I Felt Something Come Loose Back There. I'm Not Trying To Overreact Or Anything But I Think It Was My Uterus. Honest. I Think My Uterus Jiggled Free. My Uterus Is Just Going To Come Out Between My Legs And I'm Going To Look Like I'm Walking Around With An Enormous Load In My Pants.