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There Is No Advantage Getting Older. You Don't Get Smarter, You Don't Get Wiser, You Don't Get More Mellow, You Don't Get More Kindly, Nothing Good Happens. Your Back Hurts More, You Get More Indigestion, Your Eyesight Isn't As Good, You Need A Hearing Aid. It's A Bad Business Getting Old And I Would Advise You Not To Do It If You Can Avoid It. It Doesn't Have A Romantic Quality.

My Mind Can Never Know My Body, Although It Has Become Quite Friendly With My Legs.

Dying Is Like Making Love, Except You Don't Get Naseous Afterwards.

I Want To Tell You A Terrific Story About Oral Contraception. I Asked This Girl To Sleep With Me And She Said 'no.

I Feel About New York As A Child Whose Father Is A Bank Robber. Not Perfect, But I Still Love Him.