English Is A Stretch Language; One Size

The Perfect Christmas Gift For A Sportscaster, As All Fans Of Sports Clichés Know, Is A Scoreless Tie.

On The Analogy Of 'dictionary Johnson,' We Call Fred R. Shapiro, Editor Of The Just-published Yale Book Of Quotations (well Worth The $50 Price), 'quotationeer Shapiro.' Shapiro Does Original Research, Earning His 1,067-page Volume A Place On The Quotation Shelf Next To Bartlett's And Oxford's.

After Eating, An Epicure Gives A Thin Smile Of Satisfaction; A Gastronome, Burping Into His Napkin, Praises The Food In A Magazine; A Gourmet, Repressing His Burp, Criticizes The Food In The Same Magazine; A Gourmand Belches Happily And Tells Everybody Where He Ate; A Glutton Empraces The White Porcelain Alter, Or More Plainly, He Barfs.

A Dependent Clause Is Like A Dependent Child: Incapable Of Standing On Its Own But Able To Cause A Lot Of Trouble.

I Was Standing Next To A Famed Geo-politician When The First News Of The Argentine Attack [on The Faulkland Islands] Was Received, And Heard Him Muse Incredulously: "an Old-fashioned Naval Battle. A War Between Two Civilized Nations, Perhaps With Even A Declaration Of War, And Later A Peace Conference. Wow." No Hostages, No Nukes, No Ideologies, No Religious Fanaticism; Just A Fair-and-square War Over National Interests - Hard To Believe, In This Day And Age.