Either I'll Never Get Rich From The

I'd Love To Have A Shitty Job. I Couldn't Hold Any Down. Standup Was The Only Thing I Could Stick With. I'm An Idiot That Way.

Stand-up Is Probably The Most Solo Performance In Art.

Talking Is Always Positive. That's Why I Talk Too Much.

For Years, Blockbuster Video Has Edited Movies. Like The Bad Lieutenant, When He's Masturbating While The Girls In The Car Are Doing The Thing. I Rented It From Blockbuster And Sped To That Scene, And It Was Gone. I Called Up Blockbuster, And I'm Like, "i Got An Erection, And The Scene's Not There."

People Get Successful And They Start Saying, 'well Of Course I Am! I Was Chosen! I'm Special!' No, You're Not.