Do You Have Any Idea How Cheap

President Clinton Says He Looks Forward To The Day A Citizen Can Call The Irs And Get The Right Answer To A Question. I Look Forward To The Day I Can Call The Irs And Get A Voice That Says, 'sorry, That Number Has Been Disconnected.'

You See The Pictures In The Paper Today Of John Kerry Windsurfing? He's At His Home In Nantucket This Week, Doing His Favorite Thing, Windsurfing. Even His Hobby Depends On Which Way The Wind Blows.

The Pennsylvania Game Commission Has Charged A Man With Going Deer Hunting With A Handgun In A Wal-mart Parking Lot. He Is Being Charged With Reckless Endangerment, But May Plead Guilty To The Lesser Charge Of Being A Redneck.... Hunting In A Wal-mart Parking Lot. That's Got To Be Some Good Eating — A Deer That Lives On Leftover Twizzlers And Mountain Dew.

A Survey Says That American Workers Work The First Three Hours Every Day Just To Pay Their Taxes. So That's Why We Can't Get Anything Done In The Morning: We're Government Workers.

The French Announced Today That They Would Not Help Us Remove Saddam From Iraq. Well Duh! They Didn't Even Help Us Remove Hitler From France.