Do Not Elicit Your Child's Political Opinions.

Anti-smoking Sentiment Has Replaced Middle-class Morality Entirely. The Smoker Has Taken The Place Of The Homosexual. Today You Hear People Say Things About Smokers That Used To Be Said About Homosexuals - They Pollute The Environment; You Don't Want Them Around Your Children.

I Think Humor Is Warmer, And Wit Is Colder. Wit Is Judgment, Whereas Humor Invites Some Sort Of Response.

Science Has Done Absolutely Nothing About Noise. The Worst Design Flaw In The Human Body Is That You Can't Close Your Ears. The Reason You Can't Close Your Ears Is, If A Lion Was Coming, You Had To Wake Up. Today No Lions Are Coming. Beeping Trucks Are Coming. I Read The Other Day That The Guy Who Invented The Beep When Trucks Go Backward, He Died. I Thought: Of Course - He Dies, I Have To Listen To It.

The First Time I Ever Saw Platform Shoes In The '70s, I Knew They'd Been Revived From The '40s, And I Felt Sickened. And For Whatever Reason, They Keep Getting Revived. They've Come Back Four Times. I Wish We Could Let Them Die. They Want To Die. They Were Horrible Then, They're Horrible Now.

Designer Clothes Worn By Children Are Like Snowsuits Worn By Adults. Few Can Carry It Off Successfully.