Comfort Has Its Place, But It Seems

But Instead I Am Applying For A Job As An Elf. Even Worse Than Applying Is The Very Real Possibility That I Will Not Be Hired, That I Couldn't Even Find Work As An Elf. That's When You Know You're A Failure.

I've Wasted A Lot Of Time Pretending To Be Interested In People Who Weren't Terribly Interesting.

Right, I Breast Feed Baby Camels In My Backyard Just For The Freaking Fun Of It. Just Tell Me Where You Live, Pinocchio, And Save The Baloney For Lunch.

Each One Of Us Is Left To Choose Our Own Quality Of Life And Take Pleasure Where We Find It With The Understanding That, Like Mom Used To Say, Sooner Or Later Something's Gonna Get You.

My Sister Tiffany Told Me Years Ago, 'you Can Never Write About Me.' Then She Called Six Months Ago And Said She Wanted To Be In A Story. She Was Worried People Thought I Didn't Like Her.