Comedy Is Not Commercial; It Is Risky,

I Was Going To Be A Teacher And Improve The World. Teach People With Hooks For Hands To Fingerpaint, And Teach Bums To Draw Happy Faces On Beads.

The Nice Thing About Piracy Is, It Allows The Public To Get Independent Art, To Get A Variety Of Music And Movies.

It's A Lonely World, Being Independent, And They Can Come Away With The Idea That If Lloyd Kaufman Can Make Movies With People Getting Their Heads Squashed, With Hard-bodied Lesbians, Women Masturbating With Pickles, Graphic Diarrhea, And Singing And Dancing Chicken Zombies - If He Can Do That For 40 Years And Put His Kids Through Yale, Columbia, And Duke - If That Idiot Can Do It, Anybody Can Do It.

I Don't Make Crappy Movies. I Spend Two Or Three Years Making A Film. I Don't Take Myself Seriously, But I Take My Movies Very Seriously.

If Shakespeare Had Lived In Our Age, He Would Have Been Sued For Writing Romeo And Juliet, Because As Everybody Knows, He Plagiarized That From An Italian Play.